


Don't Leave

by twisting_vine_x



Category: No. 6 (Anime & Manga), No. 6 - All Media Types
Genre: 31 Days Of Halloween, Cuddling, Developing Relationship, Feelings, Fever, Hurt/Comfort, M/M, Nezumi!POV, Nightmares, Shion’s never carved a pumpkin before, anime-verse, bed sharing, canon-verse
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-06
Updated: 2014-10-30
Packaged: 2018-02-20 02:40:13
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,330
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2411948
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/twisting_vine_x/pseuds/twisting_vine_x
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A/N: While this was inspired by the <a href="http://twisting-vine-x.tumblr.com/post/98876351616/alright-whew-boy-i-am-actually-going-to-do">31 Days Of Halloween challenge</a> (prompts: Tricks, Arachnid, and Scream), it’s basically just become a canon-verse fic set during about the middle of the anime. :) </p><p>Summary: <i>The slums, though. Pumpkins might be tricky to grow, out here in such rotten soil; but that hasn’t stopped anyone. For a month every year, their fucked up little community slowly fills up with decorations and jack-o-lanterns and costumes. Nezumi still remembers his first year away from the forest, when he’d been living in the dump nearby, and sneaking into town to steal food. Remembers finding an old pumpkin in the trash, and carving his very first jack-o-lantern. Remembers how it had sat there and grinned all crooked at him, with the candle flickering inside. Remembers wondering how such a little thing could drive away some of the darkness, if only for a little while. And he shouldn’t so desperately want to give Shion that same experience, but, well –</i></p><p>
  <i>There are a lot of things he shouldn’t want, when it comes to Shion.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Nezumi’s in so much trouble.

Shion’s sitting on the floor, legs crossed, and his expression one of intense concentration. He’s got a blanket under him, and a pumpkin in front of him, and – his tongue is actually sticking out, with how hard he’s concentrating. Frowning in a way that’s _horribly_ endearingly as he focuses on cutting out a face. And if Nezumi had had to give several days’ worth of food money just to get the damn pumpkin in the first place, then that’s something that Shion never needs to know. Nezumi’s more than capable of quietly cutting back, and stretching out their food, so that Shion never notices; and it’ll be worth it for the chance to watch Shion be happier, maybe, if only for a few days.

The city boy’s never celebrated Hallowe’en, of course. Had never even heard of it. No. 6 had stamped it out decades ago. Why would they permit anything that encouraged personal expression?

The slums, though. Pumpkins might be tricky to grow, out here in such rotten soil; but that hasn’t stopped anyone. For a month every year, their fucked up little community slowly fills up with decorations and jack-o-lanterns and costumes. Nezumi still remembers his first year away from the forest, when he’d been living in the dump nearby, and sneaking into town to steal food. Remembers finding an old pumpkin in the trash, and carving his very first jack-o-lantern. Remembers how it had sat there and grinned all crooked at him, with the candle flickering inside. Remembers wondering how such a little thing could drive away some of the darkness, if only for a little while. And he shouldn’t so desperately want to give Shion that same experience, but, well –

There are a lot of things he shouldn’t want, when it comes to Shion.

“I don’t think I’m doing this right.”

“Oh, come _on_. Just cut out some damn eyes and a mouth. Maybe give it some teeth.”

“Like it’s smiling?”

“ _Sharp_ teeth, Shion. Jagged, pointy, scary teeth. It’s supposed to be scary, remember?”

“The only scary thing about this is how bad I am at it.”

Nezumi only realizes he’s laughed when Shion looks up at him, obviously shocked. Stares, and then smiles, in a way that’s soft and sweet and far kinder than anything Nezumi deserves. _Fuck_.

“Shut up. Even you’re funny, sometimes.”

“Thank you.”

“Oh, for fuck’s sake. Just – shove over.”

Nezumi shouldn’t be doing this. _Knows_ he shouldn’t be doing this. But it’s worth it for the way Shion’s smile goes damn near _shy_ as he scoots over, making room for Nezumi to sit beside him. Their shoulders are touching, and there’s barely any space between their knees, and – Nezumi’s fucked and been fucked in pretty much every position; so why does Shion make him feel like his skin is on fire? Why is just being around Shion enough to give him actual goddamn _butterflies_?

God. Nezumi’s in _so_ much trouble.

\- - -

It’s a thought that’s still with him later that night.

If anything, it’s even worse. His couch is even smaller than the bed, and Shion’s arm is hanging over the edge, his breathing soft and even. Nezumi’s trying to not feel like an absolute fucking creeper as he sits on the bed and watches, the room gone dark save for the light from one candle.

How has this kid fucked him up so badly.

On the floor, Shion’s pumpkin is grinning up at him. It’s ugly as sin, really, but Nezumi doesn’t care. Shion had looked incredibly pleased, by the time he’d finished it. Nezumi had gotten it started and then shoved it back at him, letting him do the rest. Judging by the smile on his face when Shion had finally declared it done, Nezumi’s pretty sure he can consider this adventure a success.

He just needs to not think about the way Shion’s smile is enough to make his chest hurt.

God. 

Nezumi doesn’t get good things in his life. Ever. He’s only ever had the shit kicked out of him, time and again; and he’s self-aware enough to know it’s fucked him up, at least a little bit. He’s pretty sure that Shion might – well. Might be _fond_ of him, for lack of a better word. Doesn’t think that Shion’s actively planning on screwing him over, any time soon. Thinks he might actually have someone, here, who legitimately gives a damn about him, for once; and maybe that should make him feel better, but if anything it just makes him feel worse. It feels like a trick, and like everything about Shion is too good to be true – feels like _something_ is going to wrong, the way it always does. And even if that’s just Nezumi projecting his shit onto Shion, then there’s still not much he can do about it. It might not be fair to the boy sleeping on his couch, but Nezumi just – he doesn’t know if he can trust this to work out. Knows he really shouldn’t even try, no matter how much he wants to. God, he should have _never_ gotten attached to Shion in the first place. Should have saved him and then found him somewhere else to live. Should have –

But he didn’t. And he’s spent the last two months sharing his home with a naïve little idealistic virgin who stares at him like he hung the moon, and who still thinks that he can save the world.

Nezumi knows better. That city’s going to crumble, even without his help. He can hopefully get Shion’s mother out in time, but – that’s it. No. 6 is – finally, blessedly – going to fall. And Shion’s probably going to break his own heart trying to save it, unless Nezumi can convince him not to.

On the couch, Shion makes a little huffing noise, and scrunches up his nose in his sleep. Pulls his arm up and curls in against himself, his knees coming up closer to his body. Nezumi closes his eyes.

He should want Shion to leave.

He doesn’t.

Breathes through the tightness in his stomach and lies down, pulling the blanket up around his shoulders, and trying to ignore how empty his bed feels, with Shion breathing only a few feet away.

He should have never gotten this attached.


	2. Arachnid

Nezumi’s heart feels like it’s going to beat out of his chest.

He shouldn’t so fucking _scared_ right now.

“It’s not your fault, so stop apologizing.”

Shion’s been murmuring apologies for the past half hour. He’s on his back in Nezumi’s bed, pretty much completely delirious, covered in sweat, his eyes glazed over, and – Nezumi would take a knife fight over this, any day. Would so prefer to face something that he can actually fight. Wants to find the spider that had bit Shion and crush it. After everything they’ve been through, Nezumi is not going to lose this annoying, earnest, wonderful little twerp to a damn _spider,_ and _–_

Yeah, alright, so he’s a bit scared.

“Nezumi…”

“Hush.”

Shion makes a soft whining sound, his eyes shut, and his hand gripped on tight to Nezumi’s; and Nezumi carefully adjusts the cloth on Shion’s forehead, and the one on his neck, and – for all that a fever may be part of a body’s natural defenses when its fighting off an attack, that’s only safe up to a point; and this has already gone so far beyond that. Nezumi needs this fever to break.

\- - -

In the end, Nezumi doesn’t want to leave Shion alone, so he sends Hamlet – and he should probably be _really_ concerned that he knows their names – to Dogkeeper, asking her to scrounge the dump for him. She might hate him, but she’s fond of Shion, at least. Shows up at his door with a friend and a rusty old tub, and then keeps an eye on Shion while Nezumi goes about the task of scrubbing it down and filling it with lukewarm water; and when that’s done, she leaves with the promise to hunt down some of the right herbs, if she can. The room slides back into silence, after that, save for Shion’s tossing around and muted whimpers; and Nezumi takes a deep breath and starts stripping Shion out of his soaked clothes, trying to ignore how skinny he is.

Nezumi’s been doing the best he can, but maybe he hasn’t been finding enough food for this boy.

Gets him into the tub – he’s put it in the middle of the room – and rests Shion against the back of it, his stomach starting to hurt as Shion moans and shakes his head and tries to climb right back on out. He’s strong, for someone so tiny; and Nezumi has to hold his shoulders against the tub until Shion stops struggling, his eyes squeezed shut and his body gone limp in the cool water, and – across the room, one of the candles flickers. Beside the tub, Moonlit and Hamlet are staring up at him; and outside, he knows, it’s long since gone dark, night falling outside of their little home.

Nezumi’s not going to sleep until Shion is safe.

\- - -

Dogkeeper shows up sometime in the middle of the night with everything that Nezumi had asked for.

Oregano to fight off infection, milk thistle to help flush the toxin out of Shion’s system, and yarrow to increase Shion’s sweating, since some of the poison’s hopefully getting flushed out that way, too – and Nezumi has never wanted to be in the city more. There, at least, he’d have access to advanced medical aid, even if he had to steal it. Here, he’s going to have to wing it.

Keeps Shion hydrated, and feeds him yarrow tea and ground up milk thistle, in addition to all the water he can get into him. Hauls him out of the bath, eventually, when Dogkeeper has left, again – she doesn’t even say anything about payment, her eyes sad as she watches Shion – and the water has leaked all over the floor through a hole in the bottom of the tub. Soaks a sheet with cool water and wraps Shion in it – ignores his muttered protests, and the way he tries to push him away – and then curls up beside him on the bed, rubbing oregano all around where the spider had bit him.

“Come on, you ass. You – you don’t get to die on me now, alright?”

Shion’s only response is silence, but his forehead’s a little cooler, at least; and Nezumi props himself up against the wall, his hand in Shion’s, and his heart damn near beating out of his chest.

He’s not losing this man.

Shion has saved his life, time and again, in so many ways; and Nezumi’s self-aware enough to know that, even if he might never actually say it out loud. The least Nezumi can do is save him, too.

\- - -

Shion’s back in the bed again – Nezumi had put him in the tub, again, and then hauled him back out and wrapped him in soaked sheets – when his eyes finally open. They’re exhausted, but they look clear; and Nezumi swallows and raises his head off Shion’s chest, his air suddenly all gone.

“Nezumi?”

He sounds like he’s been crawling around in the desert. And Nezumi – he can’t speak. Closes his eyes and puts his head back on Shion’s chest. Can feel Shion’s heart hammering under his cheek.

“Did I – what happened?”

Nezumi squeezes his hand, where their fingers are still laced. Can’t seem to open his eyes.

“Fever.”

“From the spider?”

His throat’s closed up, and his eyes are burning. Nods, and doesn’t move. Can’t move. Bites his lip when Shion’s fingers touch the side of his cheek, cool and damp from the soaked sheets.

“Nezumi…”

Shion’s not going to die.

Nezumi feels like he’s going to pass out.

“You took care of me?”

Nezumi nods again. Doesn't move as Shion’s fingers curl up to slide into his hair.

“Thank you.”

His voice is soft, and sweet, and he sounds a bit like he’s smiling; and, _fuck_ , Nezumi is _not_ going to cry.

Keeps his eyes closed, and stays exactly where he is.

Whatever happens over the next few months, he’s going to make sure that Shion gets through it alive. 


	3. Chapter 3

Nezumi’s throat tastes like blood when he wakes up.

He’s pretty sure he’s awake, anyway, because the Shion staring at him looks very alive, and absolutely terrified, and – normally, whenever he dreams about Shion, there’s more blood than this.

“Nezumi…?”

Right. So he’d been making noise, then.

There’s only one candle lit, and the small room feels even smaller, with the freaked out look on Shion’s face; and Nezumi’s not sure how he’s actually gotten away with this, until now. How Shion’s never been witness to one of his nightmares before, over the months he’s been living here.

“Oh, don’t look at me like that. Surely you have bad dreams, too?”

He doesn’t sound like himself. Sounds like he’s been yelling.

Shit.

"You –”

“If you really want to help so bad, you could get a damn a glass of water, or –”

“Nezumi, you – you were _screaming_.”

And – yeah, alright, this is a problem. Nezumi’s cheeks feel a bit hot; and he needs Shion to stop looking at him like that – as though Nezumi’s going to break at any second. That’s the last thing he needs.

“Yeah, well, unless I start waking you up at night, I don’t see how that’s any of your business –”

“Why do you always do this?”

Shion doesn’t look so scared, anymore. Looks – sad, more than anything else. Drops his eyes and then gets up to – he’s getting him the damn glass of water. Fuck. What did Nezumi do to deserve this man.

“You just – you always take such good care of me, and – what’s so bad about me wanting to do the same for you? You don’t have to – to always push me away, and – I’m your friend, aren’t I?”

Nezumi is fucked.

Absolutely and utterly fucked.

His hands aren’t quite steady as Shion hands him the glass of water, and then stands awkwardly beside the bed, not looking at him; and Nezumi drinks it, and then hands the glass back. He could get up and leave. Could go for a walk. Could end this right here before Shion gets any closer.

He doesn’t want to.

“Look, I just – I don’t –”

“Sorry. I – shouldn’t have pushed.”

Shion damn near drops the glass, when he takes it. Turns back to the sink area before Nezumi can say anything else. His stomach is hurting, suddenly, and it feels like his heart’s crawled into his throat, and – Shion’s back is a solid of tension, and he’s very obviously not looking at Nezumi.

“I’ll just – I’m going to go read. I hope you sleep better.”

And – that’s it, apparently. Nezumi can all but feel his teeth grind together, as Shion disappears into the bookshelves. It’s an illusion of privacy, more than anything – in reality, they’re only metres apart – but Nezumi’s always been a bit of a coward where Shion is concerned; and he lies back down and wraps the blanket back around himself. He should go after Shion. He should fix this.

_I’m your friend, aren’t I?_

Nezumi is a colossal asshole, and he definitely doesn’t deserve Shion. Doesn’t even deserve his friendship, let alone all the other things that Nezumi wants from him. He should have _never_ let Shion get this close – but it’s too late for that now; and Nezumi makes it maybe ten minutes – ten minutes of horrible, stomach-churning _guilt_ ; which is something he _hates_ – before he closes his eyes.

“Of course you’re my friend, you insecure idiot.”

As far as declarations go, it’s not exactly a love sonnet; but he hears something hit the floor, from behind the bookshelves; so maybe it’s enough. Keeps his eyes closed even as he hears feet across the floor, until Shion – fuck, he’s _sitting on the edge of the bed_ ; and Nezumi’s heart jolts. It takes everything he has to open his eyes; but it’s all worth it for the way Shion’s smiling at him.

“You mean it?”

“Oh, _god_ , shut up –”

“No, you don’t – thank you. I – I think I needed to hear that.”

“Yeah, w-well –”

It stutters out, because Shion’s pretty much just outright beaming at him now. Nezumi, suddenly, resents the fact that he’s lying down. He feels far too vulnerable like this. Though maybe he’d always feel that, with Shion looking at him like that – like Nezumi hung the damn moon, and – he’s probably made a colossal mistake here, but he can’t really care. If a little honesty will maybe help convince Shion to stay, then Nezumi can just fucking deal with the sudden vulnerability, and with way that his heart feels like it’s about ready to beat clean out of his chest.

Pretty much anything will be worth it, if it can stop Shion from leaving.

\- - -

The next few days are pretty much the same as always – except for the way Shion seems to have relaxed. The way the underlying tension that had often seemed to be part of him seems to have melted away, leaving happy little smiles and a gentle calmness that Nezumi’s never seen before.

And it’s all because Nezumi finally let him in.

Fuck. 

Nezumi has this boy’s friendship, and it _should_ be enough, it _needs_ to be enough; but it’s just _not_.

\- - -

The next time Nezumi wakes up yelling, Shion’s hand is in his.

There’s only one candle, again, and Shion is in his sleep clothes, and has pulled a chair over by the bed. The last thing Nezumi remembers is crawling into bed with Shion already asleep on the couch.

“I wasn’t sure whether I should try to wake you or not.”

Nezumi’s cheeks feel hot, and he’s glad the room is dimly lit. His hand twitches, where Shion is holding it; and Shion instantly lets him go, his face going about as red as Nezumi’s own feels.

“I-I – sorry. I’ll – I’ll just –”

_It’s okay. Please. Don’t go._

He can’t, though. Doesn’t say anything as Shion gives him a wavering little smile and then goes to curl up on the couch again, pulling the blankets up to his shoulders and quickly closing his eyes; and Nezumi squeezes his own eyes shut, the sudden wave of frustration burning hot across his body.

_Fuck_.

He’s an emotionally incompetent _idiot_.

\- - -

Two days later, and their fucked up little community is officially all done up for Hallowe’en.

It’s the last day of the month, and there are jack-o-lanterns everywhere, and people are in costume; and Shion’s face as they wander around is enough to give Nezumi goddamn butterflies. By the time they get back to their own room – and Nezumi immediately lights the candle in Shion’s pumpkin, letting it flicker as the only light in the room – Shion’s eyes are basically sparkling.

“Amazing, it’s all absolutely _amazing_ –”

“Next year, maybe, we’ll even find you a costume.”

“I’d like that.”

Shion’s smiling at him, soft and sweet and adorable, and – _next year_. Nezumi hadn’t even thought – he’d just said – takes a breath, and sits down on the bed, watching the pumpkin light flicker on Shion’s face, as Shion sits with his hands in his lap and smiles down at the pumpkin.

Shion still plans to be here in a year.

Something, deep inside his chest, seems to unclench.

It’s like he’d been holding his breath without even realizing it. Like he’s finally able to breathe.

“Nezumi?”

He’s not smiling, anymore, but he still looks happy, his eyes still all lit up, even if he’s tilting his head a bit, as though trying to read him; and Nezumi takes another deep breath, and feels his own lips curve up into a small smile, and – he’s not even sure how long it’s been since he’s felt this happy.

It’s dangerous. It’s stupid. It’s a disaster waiting to happen.

He doesn’t care.

Shion’s not planning to leave, and nothing matters more than that.

“Alright, then. I’ve got another pumpkin stashed away. Fancy carving it?”

“Of course!”

“Excellent. I’ll just find –”

“And, um – Nezumi? Just. Thank you. For – for tonight, but, well. For everything. Thank you.”

And – Shion’s not blushing and looking away, like he might have before. He’s looking right at Nezumi, in the dim light from that pumpkin candle; and he looks a bit shy, sure, but mostly he just looks happy, his eyes soft and his lips curved up in a way that just looks so damn content; and, somehow, Nezumi manages to smile back, a comfortable warmth spreading out through his chest.

“You, too.”

It’s not exactly the answer he should be giving – he should, probably, be making a joke, or trying to brush this off – but Shion plans to stay, so maybe Nezumi can get away with this. Smiles a bit wider when Shion _does_ blush, now, looking all manners of pleased with himself; and Nezumi barely refrains from ruffling Shion’s hair as he gets to his feet, his heart suddenly racing in his chest.

Alright. Pumpkin. It’s time to carve the damn pumpkin.

And then, once Shion’s asleep, Nezumi can take the time to lie in bed and try to process the fact that Shion seems to have no plans of leaving; which should probably be all kinds of terrifying, really, and probably _will_ be terrifying, once it sinks in – but right now, all Nezumi can feel is grateful.

\- - -

The alcohol was probably a mistake.

That, Nezumi can concede.

But – it’s _Halloween_. He’d just wanted to – fuck, it’s Halloween, for fuck’s sake, if there was ever going to be a night to introduce Shion to booze, it’s tonight, and – Shion’s looking a bit glassy-eyed, where he’s lying next to Nezumi on the bed, hands under his head as he hums and smiles up at the ceiling; and he looks fucking _perfect_ , in bed, right next to him; and Nezumi should have thought this through. Shouldn’t have mentally said fuck it and just opened the bottle.

He’s an idiot.

“Heeey, Nezumi, um –”

“Hmm?”

“S’fun, like this. Can we do it more?”

“Booze’s pricey –”

“Not the – even, uh, without that, um – s’just – spending time together, it’s – s’nice, right?”

_Shit_.

Shion’s rolled onto his side, to stare at him, his eyes wide in the dim light from their two jack-o-lanters; and, if this were anyone else, there’d probably be a come hither look, or a coy little smirk, or – but with Shion, there’s none of that. He just looks – happy. And sweet. And far too genuine. And probably rather drunk, with how badly he’s slurring, and how glassy his eyes are; and definitely far better of a human being than Nezumi; because, god, Nezumi _should_ be happy with friendship.

_S’nice, right?_

It is. It _really_ is. Nezumi has to swallow before he can speak. God, he is so _incredibly_ fucked.

“Yeah, Shion. It’s – it’s nice.”

Shion doesn’t say anything, but his smile widens, before he yawns, his eyes sliding shut; and it’s fucking adorable, really, the way he snuggles in closer and puts his head on Nezumi’s shoulder, curling up right against him; and Nezumi _should_ be panicking, but he just wraps an arm around him, his heart starting to slam in his chest and his stomach fluttering and his face going hot, but – it all feels comforting, somehow. _Shion_ is comforting, with the way he’s tucked in close against him.

“G’night, Shion.”

His response is a happy sounding huff, as Shion nestles closer; and Nezumi pulls the blanket up over them with his free hand, getting most of it where it needs to be; and then closes his eyes, the flicking light from their jack-o-lantern fading away, and Shion breathing soft and slow beside him.

\- - -

When Nezumi wakes up, Shion’s face is in his neck.

Nezumi goes very still.

He’s pretty sure he’s flushed straight down to his chest. The jack-o-lantern candles, somehow, are still burning, despite the way Nezumi’s room isn’t spinning, so it must be morning, if he’s had time to sober up, and – Shion sucks in a breath against his neck, and Nezumi feels it all the way down his body.

Shit. 

_Shitshitshitshit_ –

“… Nezumi?”

Shit buggering _fuck_ –

Shion’s lifted his head to stare at him, and Nezumi’s heart is racing, and he’s staring at Shion’s mouth, _fuck_ , needs to – gets his eyes back up, and Shion’s cheeks have gone a dark red colour.

“Sorry, I-I didn’t –”

Shion kisses his cheek.

Not his mouth. His cheek.

Just a quick little brush against his skin.

Nezumi is quite possibly going to pass out.

Stares, helplessly, as Shion flushes even worse and manages to not look at him, despite how close they are.

“Is that… okay?”

He sounds like he’s about to shake apart, feels strung tight enough to break; and Nezumi can’t move. He’d thought – he’d thought he was _alone_ in this, that he was the only one who wanted –

“You look at me, sometimes. Like – like you were, just now, like you _want_ to, and – Nezumi, _say_ something, please, alright, if you don’t want this, I can – it’s _fine_ , we can p-pretend it never –”

Nezumi can’t get his arms around him quickly enough.

Hears Shion squeak with how tightly Nezumi crushes them in together; and then Shion goes limp, grabbing on tight to Nezumi and snuggling in even closer against him, his heart slamming.

“Oh, _thank_ – I thought I’d –”

Nezumi can’t speak. Closes his eyes and holds on as tight as he can, as Shion breathes against him.

They can figure out the details later. Can figure out exactly what this means.

For now, Nezumi has Shion warm and snuggled up against him, sighing, softly, in a way that just sounds so _happy_ ; and Nezumi wants to spend the rest of his life just like this, with Shion wrapped around him, and both of them holding on tight like there’s no one else in the world but them.

**Author's Note:**

> If anyone fancies being [tumblr](http://twisting-vine-x.tumblr.com/) buddies, I'm always happy to make new friends. ♥
> 
> (Note: my blog will have major spoilers for the Attack on Titan manga; so if you'd like to be friends and avoid those, the tag to blacklist is, 'aot manga spoilers'.)


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